The Nerd's Purge
by ZeeLizard
Summary: Oakleigh Knoll, Sanus Chinsky, and Abby Romero have always been outcasts when it comes to The Purge. Rather than going out and committing mindless acts of violence they've always hunkered down and played video games, watched horror movies, and enjoyed peace and quiet in Oakleigh's basement. But this Purge, that will all change.
1. Chapter 1

****Authors Note: I know this is the third time I have posted this story. I've been writing myself in circles so I decided to rewrite it, yet again. Hopefully this time it will be more organized and can actually be finished. I'm sorry for how many times this story has been posted as new. Fingers crossed that this will be the last time!****

Sanus Chinsky waited uneasily outside Oakleigh Knoll's house, fidgeting and glancing over his shoulder every few minutes as he waited for the door to be opened.

Police in Nebraska seemed blissfully unaware of how few Purgers waited until seven to begin their night time crime-spree. It felt more nerve-racking to be out right before the sirens sounded than if he were to be traipsing around the neighborhood as gunshots and screams rang out in the night.

The clouds overhead drifted across the sky, ignoring the urgency of the lanky boy on Rohr Street. His mahogany-haired friend pulled the door open just as his nerves began to get the better of him and he collapsed onto her foyer floor.

"Dude, calm down. It's 6:35," Oakleigh said, rolling her eyes as she grabbed his elbow and helped him to his feet. "Abby isn't even here yet."

"You never know. You let your guard down for one minute and next thing you know you're getting double tapped in the back of the head."

"Yeah well I think it's safe to say the back of your head is bullet free. Come on, I still have to get the basement set up."

Oakleigh swung the door closed and the pair raced down the long flight of stairs leading from the foyer to the tastefully furnished den. Purple, red, and rainbow beanbags were organized in a half moon around the plasma television and behind that sat a red-felt-covered pool table, the balls racked and ready to go. The far end of the den was a modern, miniature kitchen. It had a four-burner cooking top, half oven big enough for a large cookie sheet or a large pizza, A full sized refrigerator and large deep freezer were off to the side, filled with enough food and soda to last twelve sleepless hours.

"You get the rainbow one," Oakleigh said, making her way to the closet on wall adjacent to the stairs. "Did you bring any games or?"

"Hunter dibbed them for tonight." Sanus groaned, holding his arms out Titanic-style and falling onto his designated beanbag, staring up at the popcorn ceiling.

Oakleigh grabbed the box containing her family's blu ray player from the closet floor, stacking a few movie cases on top of it. "Abby better bring Saw or else I'm going to scream."

"I'm sure she will," Sanus said, propping himself up on his elbows. "That series is like Jesus to her."

Oakleigh knelt down and set up the player. "Do you even remember the rules of Delicism? The Holy Trinity is Gordon Ramsay, Bacon Jesus, and the Holy Nutella."

"What about Saw and Silence of the Lambs?"

"Jigsaw the Baptist and the Virgin Clarice."

"Of course," Sanus rolled his eyes, pushing himself to a standing position and making his way over to the kitchen. "Dare I ask about Lucifer or Hell?"

"Satan is tofu and Hell is a vegan place."

"You girls are way too fat to be so skinny."

"If I'm going to die tomorrow, I want to eat cake tonight," Oakleigh said, scooting away from the blu ray player and flopping onto the purple beanbag chair. "Or drown my lungs in nutella, that works too."

Sanus opened his mouth to reply when the sound of something heavy falling down the stairs interrupted him.

The pair pulled themselves to a standing position, glancing in the direction of the sound before Abby's tumbling body was visible.

She landed on her back, head bouncing slightly as it hit the tile floor. Her eyes were closed and her strawberry blonde hair fanned out under her skull.

"Abby? Are you okay?" Sanus asked as he jogged over to the petite girl's still form.

She groaned, rolling her head slightly from side to side as she came to. "I skipped a step on my way down," her voice sounded pained. "No bueno."

"Shit, do you need anything?" Oakleigh asked, hovering awkwardly between wanting to go to Abby's side or running to get the first aid case from the closet.

"Yeah, I need...I need..."

"What? What do you need?" Sanus asked as he knelt down beside her.

Abby opened her eyes and a wide smile broke across her face, "I need Oakleigh to get the blu ray up and running because I brought Saw."


	2. Chapter 2

"You're such an asshole, Abs," Sanus said for the twelfth time.

"Oh come on, it was funny and you know it," Oakleigh said as she pulled her long hair into a messy bun on the top of her head. The trio was gathered around Oakleigh's TV as they waited for the Saw home screen to load, lounging on their large bean bag chairs. Abby was stacking the Saw movies in order as Sanus crossed and recrossed his legs, rolling the remote in his hands.

"It was not," Sanus replied defiantly.

The sirens were going to sound in five minutes and the trio was busy preparing for their night of gorey movies. A tray of frozen pizza rolls rested on the counter as the oven preheated. Oakleigh and Abby sipped at baby bottles of Mountain Dew as Sanus tapped on the top of a Diet Coke can, drumming his nails against the aluminum before snapping the tab open.

"Your face begged to differ," Abby said. "Would you just start the movie?"

Sanus sighed and pressed the center button on the remote, staring at the Twisted Pictures logo. "It was still not funny. I was about one hundred percent sure that you were dead."

"I'm not that good of an actress!" Abby argued rotating so she was upside down on her chair. "I mean yeah I got a roll in A Simple Task last year but it wasn't even the lead. And I didn't die, all I did was fire someone."

Yeah, and you owe Donald Trump a million bucks for that line," Oakleigh laughed.

"I highly doubt he's going to school a high school theatre program over two words," Abby rolled her eyes. "He's not that stupid."

"People have sued over stupider things."

"Yeah like coffee that is too hot," Sanus said, breaking the tab off his can and throwing it at the two girls. "Fucking women."

"In all fairness, the coffee was too hot for human consumption. It gave her third degree burns," Abby argued. "Even though she spilled it on herself, coffee isn't supposed to be that hot. There's hot and then there's ridiculous."

"Riddikulus!" Oakleigh shouted, sticking her fist in the air as she rolled off her bean bag chair.

"Enough with Harry Potter!" Abby said, poking her in the ribs with the toe of her converse. "We get it, you were born into the wrong universe."

"We could say the same with you and Saw," Sanus said, pointing to the screen as Adam Stanheight pulled himself from the bathtub he woke in and tumbled to the floor. "When was the last time we did a Harry Potter marathon during the Purge?"

"We can't fit all eight of those movies into twelve hours," Abby rolled her eyes.

"Would it kill you to come over earlier and leave a little bit later?" Oakleigh sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, oh just the very thought of it makes me feel faint," Abby said, dramatically falling against her bean bag and splaying her arms and legs out.

"My body is ready!" Sanus said pressing his foot against the red leather of her chair and pushing it farther away from him. "Now, let's just talk about that hair of yours. What the hell did you do to it?"

"What do you mean?" Abby asked innocently, widening her eyes.

"One, you're not Puss in Boots, that trick won't work on me. Two, it used to be ombre. Where the hell did the blonde mess come from?"

"A box."

Oakleigh rolled onto her stomach and pushed herself up so she was resting on her knees. "Oh really? Because I thought the dye came in a plastic bottle."

"Shut up," Abby said, making an unappealing face at Oakleigh. "Just watch Leigh Whannell's masterpiece come to life."

They turned to stare at the screen in silence, watching as Adam and Doctor Gordon bantered back and forth before the scene cut to Zepp. Upstairs they heard the Emergency Broadcast Bulletin alarm ring out from the living room television.

"This is not a test. This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the commencement of the Annual Purge sanctioned by the U.S. Government. Weapons of class 4 and lower have been authorized for use during the Purge. All other weapons are restricted. Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity from the Purge and shall not be harmed. Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including murder, will be legal for 12 continuous hours. Police, fire, and emergency medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning until 7 a.m., when The Purge concludes. Blessed be our New Founding Fathers and America, a nation reborn. May God be with you all."

The last few rings on the TV played before it cut out. The sirens sounded a few moments later.

"Well," Abby said dramatically, "let the game begin."


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay so if you were Jigsaw, and it was Purge night, who would you kill and why?" Sanus asked, flicking his pizza roll in the ranch dressing plate that sat between the three bean bag chairs. Two large plates full of pizza rolls were on either side of the dipping plate smothered in ranch, piled high with steaming supreme, pepperoni, and triple cheese rolls.

"Justine Bieber," Abby said, stuffing two of the rolls into her mouth. "He's a little douche. I mean is he even famous anymore? All he does is walk around doing drugs without a shirt on and with his pants sagging. Does he even make music anymore?"

"I think you mean Justin Bieber, not Justine," Sanus said. "And he does still make music. Not good music, but music."

"No I definitely meant Justine."

Sanus rolled his eyes, turning to Oakleigh. She was dragging the corner of one of her rolls through the ranch, her eyes following it like she wasn't sure where it was going.

"Okay either you're high and not sharing your stuff or you're thinking about something," Sanus said, squinting his eyes suspiciously. "And you can't be high because you're terrified of even smoking hookah." He half scooted his torso closer so his face was inches from hers and propped his chin up on his hands. He widened his eyes and batted his lashes like a Disney princess before whispering, "Whatcha thinking about?"

"It's nothing," Oakleigh protested quickly, popping the pizza roll into her mouth and wincing as it's hot insides spilled across her tongue. "Ow, Jesus that hurt."

"Oakleigh," Abby said, her voice steady and low, "what are you thinking?"

"Just random stuff. I guess thinking about the Purge."

"Like, what about it?" Abby asked, reaching to grab another handful of pizza rolls.

"Why we don't."

"Because we're nerds and if we tried to Purge we would get our heads blown off in a matter of minutes," Sanus said as he chewed vigorously.

"But how? I mean my mom has a huge arsenal of weapons and ammo in her closet, we wouldn't be totally defenseless. And hell, I would love to rob a Best Buy or Apple store and finally get a non-ghetto phone, it's not like we'd just run around jaywalking the entire time."

"Aw," Sanus sighed, pretending to be crestfallen. "I thought we could be living the thug life!"

"If we did Purge we'd have to stop by the music store. I want to get my own bass clarinet and stop having to borrow stupid Mr. Capri's," Abby said, scrunching up her face as she did so.

"I'm sure we can make a stop there," Oakleigh said, already pushing herself to her feet. "Come on guys. Let's Purge!"


End file.
